CAUTIONARY TALES Frivolous lawsuits are great for devious lawyers and warning-label writers. The Wacky Warning Label Contest, conducted by the Michican Lawsuit Abuse Watch, celebrates both parties. This year's winners. 4th Place: A five-inch fishing lure with three steel hooks cautions users that it is "harmful if swallowed." 3rd Place: A warning label found on a 12-inch-high storage rack for compact discs reminds purchasers: "Don not use as a ladder." 2nd Place: The label on one snow sled is very adamant: "Beware: Sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions." And Grand Prize Winner: Warning label found on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product." -    -    -    -    -     -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -     -    -    -     -    -     -     -     -     - God's servants work in mysterious ways, as evidenced by the following bloopers from church bulletins and the pulpit: Berth Belch, a missinary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. The eighth-graders will be presenting Skahespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7:00pm The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. Barbara remains in the hospital. She is having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in teh church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. <>